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Even though my educational background makes me neither a nutritionist, theologian, nor evolutionary biologist, in the spirit of claiming authority over something I clearly have no authority over I intend to do just that. Therefore, I present to you the perfect argument as to why (1) God exists and (2) the Obama administration is literally forcing theocracy down the throats of the American public.

I. Peanut butter disproves evolution; bananas prove intelligent design

For the most part I will simply let YouTube do the arguing for me. As you will notice the first makes the case that life cannot possibly arise from non-life and that the second proves that bananas are nature’s Coca-Cola can. After all, when was the last time you saw something as perfect as a Coca-Cola can rise from the soil? How would, say, a fish open such a can since it does not have hands? It was obviously made for humans.

Bam! End of conversation.

II. A child’s intuitive sense.

Why do children love eating peanut butter and bananas? Well, that “natural” taste for fruits and peanuts is actually the intuitive sense we each have for seeking out God – think about it.

So doesn’t this disprove the claim that President Obama is a Muslim? I mean, if he was, why would his administration force (through the public education system) our children to become closer to God at every lunch hour?

Open your eyes, sheeple!